Self Control

Tonight I think I tried as hard as I could to exhibit self control. I was DJing, and usually I am all over anyone who looks good to me. That is what gets me hurt, because I am only judging people based on looks. I don't give a shit about their personality until it's too late. Tonight was different. I stayed in the booth the whole night. I made conversation with some people, but I kept it pretty neutral. There was one girl who I tried to start talking to more, but it was hard, because I was working. I gave her my number. The ball is completely in her court. She has to reach out to me if she wants to be friends, and if that happens, I will let her know the deal at a certain point. No bullshit! honesty! follow through! Be responsible! I also spoke to a friend of the girl that stood me up. She isn't too happy with this girl either. I was thinking that maybe this friend of hers and I should become friends. She seems responsible. No red flags. Anyways, I felt pretty calm tonight. I spoke with my writer friend too. She always makes me feel good, because she is so smart and passionate about writing about life. She brings her work into the club and lets me read it. It's pretty intense shit and it helps me work out whatever is in my head. She says she trusts me to be honest about her writing. I think that's cool too. Now I need to find people who I can trust.